1 00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:14,014 [subway tracks rattling] 2 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:24,774 [dramatic instrumental music playing] 3 00:00:27,777 --> 00:00:28,611 [man chuckles] 4 00:00:41,666 --> 00:00:43,710 [woman giggles] 5 00:00:59,517 --> 00:01:00,643 [in Korean] Are you okay? 6 00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:01,603 Uh-huh. 7 00:01:03,855 --> 00:01:05,356 [woman gasps] 8 00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:07,108 [breathing rapidly] 9 00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:08,485 Your stomach! Somebody help! 10 00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:09,986 [screaming] 11 00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,989 [all speaking in Korean] 12 00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,032 [screaming] 13 00:01:14,699 --> 00:01:16,451 [wails in pain] 14 00:01:16,534 --> 00:01:18,161 [flesh tearing] 15 00:01:18,244 --> 00:01:20,747 [woman screaming] 16 00:01:20,830 --> 00:01:22,749 [squelching] 17 00:01:22,832 --> 00:01:25,877 [baby gasps for air, cries] 18 00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:29,881 [Pogo] On the 12th hour of the first day of October 1989, 19 00:01:29,964 --> 00:01:33,384 16 women around the world gave birth. 20 00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:35,553 This was unusual only in the fact 21 00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:39,933 that none of these women had been pregnant when the day first began. 22 00:01:44,562 --> 00:01:48,566 Sir Reginald Hargreeves, eccentric billionaire and adventurer, 23 00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:52,862 resolved to locate and adopt as many of the children as possible. 24 00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:54,114 Extraordinary. 25 00:01:54,697 --> 00:01:55,615 [thunderclap] 26 00:01:56,282 --> 00:01:57,408 [baby mewls] 27 00:01:57,492 --> 00:02:00,286 How much do you want for it? Surely you don't want to keep it. 28 00:02:00,370 --> 00:02:02,038 [in Korean] How much do you want for him? 29 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:04,999 [in English] You lay one finger on my grandson, I slice you in half! 30 00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:08,253 Excellent! I like a spirited negotiator. 31 00:02:08,336 --> 00:02:10,755 [thunder rumbling] 32 00:02:10,839 --> 00:02:12,465 [school bell rings] 33 00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:16,261 ["Sometimes" by Gerry Cinnamon playing] 34 00:02:28,356 --> 00:02:31,484 ♪ Sometimes, just sometimes ♪ 35 00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:33,987 ♪ Maybe more than some of the time ♪ 36 00:02:34,070 --> 00:02:36,114 ♪ I'm on a false ego trip ♪ 37 00:02:36,197 --> 00:02:37,949 ♪ Insecurity is rife ♪ 38 00:02:38,032 --> 00:02:40,743 ♪ I'm not the ideal person To be lecturing on life ♪ 39 00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:42,537 ♪ But if you wanna know ♪ 40 00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:44,998 ♪ Some things I've learned about myself ♪ 41 00:02:45,081 --> 00:02:48,126 ♪ Being in sticky situations I won't bore you with the filth ♪ 42 00:02:48,209 --> 00:02:51,337 ♪ Breaking bones and sniffing gear Pouring blood and sweat and tears ♪ 43 00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:52,922 -[grunts] -♪ In a nutshell, I suppose ♪ 44 00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:55,967 ♪ It's the way the water flows ♪ 45 00:02:58,970 --> 00:03:02,265 ♪ Yeah, that's the way the story goes ♪ 46 00:03:02,348 --> 00:03:05,143 [crowd cheering] 47 00:03:05,226 --> 00:03:06,811 [woman in crowd] Love you, Marcus! 48 00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:09,522 ♪ Sometimes, just sometimes ♪ 49 00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:10,481 ♪ Well, all right ♪ 50 00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:12,275 -♪ Maybe all of the time ♪ -[raven cawing] 51 00:03:12,358 --> 00:03:14,319 ♪ I'm on a false ego trip ♪ 52 00:03:14,402 --> 00:03:16,362 ♪ Well, I'm a renegade of sorts ♪ 53 00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:19,115 ♪ I roam the concrete jungle Hunting idiots for sport ♪ 54 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:21,492 -♪ And now the cocaine scene ♪ -[caws] 55 00:03:21,576 --> 00:03:23,286 ♪ It picked me up and made me frown ♪ 56 00:03:23,369 --> 00:03:26,164 ♪ That's when joking says That music helps the medicine go down ♪ 57 00:03:26,247 --> 00:03:28,124 ♪ Hey, it makes you feel alive ♪ 58 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:29,751 ♪ More like demons of the night ♪ 59 00:03:29,834 --> 00:03:31,377 ♪ Flinging powder up your nose ♪ 60 00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:33,963 ♪ It's the way the water flows… ♪ 61 00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:37,175 [cube speaks] 62 00:03:37,258 --> 00:03:40,136 Hey, next round's on Christopher! 63 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,554 [patrons cheering] 64 00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:43,640 [Christopher speaks] 65 00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:47,769 [man] I said no pepperoni. No pepperoni, dumbass! 66 00:03:47,852 --> 00:03:50,063 -You said no mushrooms. -[mocking] I speak English! 67 00:03:50,146 --> 00:03:51,356 So does my son. 68 00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:53,358 We speak American, asshole. 69 00:03:53,441 --> 00:03:55,652 You are an American asshole. 70 00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:57,528 [store owner] Let go of me! Let go! 71 00:03:57,612 --> 00:03:59,822 Get outta my store! Get out of here! 72 00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:03,493 ♪ Don't look the same for you and me Drinking cider in a golf course ♪ 73 00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:06,579 ♪ Just a distant memory Down the park and pick a fight ♪ 74 00:04:06,663 --> 00:04:11,167 ♪ Popping pills all through the night That's the way the water flows ♪ 75 00:04:11,876 --> 00:04:12,710 [man groans] 76 00:04:14,629 --> 00:04:17,340 ♪ Yeah, that's the way the story goes ♪ 77 00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:18,424 This better be pepperoni. 78 00:04:20,051 --> 00:04:22,303 ♪ Sometimes ♪ 79 00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:28,643 ♪ Sometimes ♪ 80 00:04:28,726 --> 00:04:32,897 [alarm blaring] 81 00:04:32,981 --> 00:04:36,276 ♪ Just sometimes ♪ 82 00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:41,864 ♪ Just sometimes ♪ 83 00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:43,157 [alarm continues] 84 00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:44,659 [Reginald] This isn't your home. 85 00:04:44,742 --> 00:04:47,287 [Allison] What are you talking about? This is the Umbrella Academy. 86 00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:48,454 [Reginald] Wrong again. 87 00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:51,165 This… is the Sparrow Academy. 88 00:05:02,510 --> 00:05:04,512 Dad, who the hell are these assholes? 89 00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:07,223 [Umbrellas] Shit. 90 00:05:07,724 --> 00:05:08,850 Ben. 91 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:13,646 Is that really you? 92 00:05:14,522 --> 00:05:17,692 And who are the weirdos on the balcony? 93 00:05:18,276 --> 00:05:20,153 [Reginald] They are the Sparrows. 94 00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:22,155 My children. 95 00:05:22,238 --> 00:05:24,824 [rumbling] 96 00:05:26,534 --> 00:05:29,078 [dramatic orchestral music playing] 97 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:32,665 [energy twinkling] 98 00:05:41,674 --> 00:05:42,884 [electricity crackling] 99 00:05:57,148 --> 00:05:59,734 I'm sorry. What do you mean, your children? 100 00:06:00,234 --> 00:06:01,736 That's not possible, old man. 101 00:06:01,819 --> 00:06:04,989 [Reginald] Of course it is! I think I'd know, wouldn't I? 102 00:06:05,656 --> 00:06:07,867 Everybody else can see Ben, right? 103 00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:09,160 Cute hat, Sundance. 104 00:06:09,243 --> 00:06:12,622 [Reginald] They call themselves the Umbrella Academy, 105 00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:16,209 a group of scheming, perfidious malcontents 106 00:06:16,292 --> 00:06:18,503 who accosted me in the fall of 1963 107 00:06:18,586 --> 00:06:20,922 when I was away on business in Dallas. 108 00:06:21,005 --> 00:06:24,092 Be warned, they claim to be my spawn. 109 00:06:25,343 --> 00:06:28,012 Claim? Look, Five, what the hell is going on? 110 00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:30,056 I don't know yet, but it's concerning. 111 00:06:30,139 --> 00:06:32,934 -Is he telling the truth? -Not the part about us being perfidious. 112 00:06:33,017 --> 00:06:35,478 No, we're amateur-fidious, at best. 113 00:06:35,561 --> 00:06:38,356 But we are his children. This is our house. 114 00:06:38,439 --> 00:06:40,691 Yeah, yeah. We, uh… We grew up here. 115 00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:42,568 -[mocking] "Yeah, we grew up here." -[snickers] 116 00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:45,029 I kind of think we would have noticed you. 117 00:06:46,155 --> 00:06:48,449 Hi. I'm Luther. 118 00:06:49,283 --> 00:06:50,993 Okay. None of you belong here. 119 00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:51,994 [Fei] Oh! Well, then. 120 00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:54,831 I guess we'll just pack our bags and move out. 121 00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:57,959 [Christopher speaks] 122 00:06:58,543 --> 00:07:00,670 -[Sparrows chuckling] -You slay me, Chris. 123 00:07:04,048 --> 00:07:06,384 I wasn't expecting company. [sighs] 124 00:07:06,467 --> 00:07:08,469 This is the best I could do on short-- 125 00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:10,763 [in robotic voice] Short… Short notice. 126 00:07:12,056 --> 00:07:12,890 Mom. 127 00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:15,143 Mom? She's a robot, you perv. 128 00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:17,145 -It's not a robot. -Hey, don't you call him that. 129 00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:18,813 -Or what? -Come closer and find out. 130 00:07:18,896 --> 00:07:20,690 -Luther! Guys, chill! -[Ben] Think I'm afraid? 131 00:07:20,773 --> 00:07:23,067 -Stand down, Ben. -Look at that! She's got a voice! 132 00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:25,403 How about I hide that big Rubik's Cube up your ass? 133 00:07:25,486 --> 00:07:26,779 -Enough! -[hissing] 134 00:07:28,364 --> 00:07:30,324 [Marcus] I don't know what circus you escaped from 135 00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:32,034 or how you got past our security, 136 00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:33,119 but we're done here. 137 00:07:33,202 --> 00:07:35,413 You got 30 seconds to get out of our house. 138 00:07:35,496 --> 00:07:36,831 And if we don't? 139 00:07:37,832 --> 00:07:40,001 Then we'll have to settle this the old-fashioned way. 140 00:07:40,084 --> 00:07:42,879 [ominous orchestral music playing] 141 00:07:43,796 --> 00:07:44,881 Agreed. 142 00:07:48,384 --> 00:07:49,844 [neck cracks] 143 00:07:49,927 --> 00:07:53,639 [ominous music swells] 144 00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:56,893 ["Footloose" by Kenny Loggins playing] 145 00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:17,288 ♪ I been working so hard ♪ 146 00:08:17,371 --> 00:08:20,291 -Get him, Luther! -♪ Keep punching my card ♪ 147 00:08:20,374 --> 00:08:22,668 -♪ Eight hours, for what? ♪ -Luther, what are you doing? 148 00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:24,795 Protecting our honor, bro. 149 00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:28,216 ♪ I got this feeling ♪ 150 00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:31,844 ♪ That time's just holding me down ♪ 151 00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:36,098 Oh shit! We're really good at this! 152 00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:39,227 ♪ I'll hit the ceiling ♪ 153 00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:43,231 ♪ Or else I'll tear up this town ♪ 154 00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:48,194 ♪ Tonight I gotta cut loose ♪ 155 00:08:48,694 --> 00:08:49,737 ♪ Footloose ♪ 156 00:08:50,238 --> 00:08:52,657 ♪ Kick off your Sunday shoes ♪ 157 00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:54,742 ♪ Please, Louise ♪ 158 00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:57,703 ♪ Pull me off of my knees ♪ 159 00:08:58,621 --> 00:09:00,581 ♪ Jack, get back ♪ 160 00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:03,209 ♪ C'mon before we crack ♪ 161 00:09:04,252 --> 00:09:06,128 ♪ Lose your blues ♪ 162 00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:09,048 ♪ Everybody cut footloose ♪ 163 00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:12,969 ♪ Cut footloose ♪ 164 00:09:13,844 --> 00:09:15,763 ♪ Cut footloose ♪ 165 00:09:16,597 --> 00:09:18,516 ♪ Cut footloose ♪ 166 00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:22,061 -♪ First ♪ -♪ We got to turn it around ♪ 167 00:09:22,144 --> 00:09:24,730 -♪ Second ♪ -♪ And put your feet on the ground ♪ 168 00:09:24,814 --> 00:09:27,567 -♪ Third ♪ -♪ Now take ahold of your soul ♪ 169 00:09:37,743 --> 00:09:39,620 ♪ I'm turning it loose ♪ 170 00:09:39,704 --> 00:09:41,247 -♪ Footloose ♪ -[sound of crowd cheering] 171 00:09:41,330 --> 00:09:43,583 ♪ Kick off your Sunday shoes ♪ 172 00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:46,168 ♪ Please, Louise ♪ 173 00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:49,005 ♪ Pull me off of my knees ♪ 174 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:51,632 ♪ Jack, get back ♪ 175 00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:54,176 ♪ C'mon before we crack ♪ 176 00:09:55,219 --> 00:09:57,680 ♪ Lose your blues ♪ 177 00:09:57,763 --> 00:09:59,974 ♪ Everybody cut footloose ♪ 178 00:10:00,057 --> 00:10:02,018 -♪ Footloose ♪ -♪ Footloose ♪ 179 00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:03,728 ♪ Kick off your Sunday shoes ♪ 180 00:10:04,895 --> 00:10:07,023 ♪ Please, Louise ♪ 181 00:10:07,815 --> 00:10:09,025 ♪ Pull me off of my ♪ 182 00:10:09,108 --> 00:10:10,318 ♪ Pull me off of my ♪ 183 00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:12,653 ♪ Pull me off of my knees ♪ 184 00:10:13,195 --> 00:10:15,197 ♪ Jack, get back ♪ 185 00:10:15,781 --> 00:10:17,575 ♪ C'mon before we crack ♪ 186 00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:20,703 ♪ Lose your blues ♪ 187 00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:23,539 ♪ Everybody cut, everybody cut ♪ 188 00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:26,167 ♪ Everybody cut, everybody cut ♪ 189 00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:29,003 ♪ Everybody cut, everybody cut ♪ 190 00:10:29,086 --> 00:10:32,173 [song distorts, slows] ♪ Everybody cut footloose… ♪ 191 00:10:32,256 --> 00:10:33,549 -[inhales sharply] -[song stops] 192 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:36,427 [Marcus] You got 30 seconds to get out of our house. 193 00:10:36,510 --> 00:10:38,554 -[Allison] And if we don't? -[gasps] 194 00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:42,266 [Marcus] Then we'll have to settle this the old-fashioned way. 195 00:10:43,976 --> 00:10:46,562 Look, we just fought a literal army. 196 00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:49,440 Okay? This doesn't need to get ugly. 197 00:10:49,523 --> 00:10:52,526 Let's all just calm down, and let's talk. 198 00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:54,654 Psst. Ben-er-ino. 199 00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:58,699 You look so much better alive than you do dead. 200 00:10:58,783 --> 00:10:59,825 Am I right? 201 00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:01,494 Except that haircut. 202 00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,747 -What the hell did you just say? -Come on, come on. 203 00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:07,875 Stop with all the hostility, Mr. Grumpy Pants. 204 00:11:08,542 --> 00:11:10,127 Oh wow. Nice scar. 205 00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:11,504 Muy macho. 206 00:11:11,587 --> 00:11:13,089 Shut your mouth! 207 00:11:13,172 --> 00:11:15,132 You shut your mouth and just hug your brother-- 208 00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:19,011 -[Klaus groans] -Hey! What the hell? 209 00:11:19,095 --> 00:11:21,472 -You didn't have to do that! -Oh, I'm pretty sure I did! 210 00:11:21,555 --> 00:11:22,973 -He did. -[Marcus] Get back! 211 00:11:23,057 --> 00:11:24,975 -[Vanya] Luther, hey! -Back off! [grunts] 212 00:11:27,853 --> 00:11:29,563 ["No More Heroes" by The Stranglers playing] 213 00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:30,564 Oh shit! 214 00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:35,486 Bad touch, Luther! Bad touch! 215 00:11:35,569 --> 00:11:36,570 Sorry. 216 00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:42,118 ♪ Whatever happened to ♪ 217 00:11:43,452 --> 00:11:44,912 ♪ Leon Trotsky… ♪ 218 00:11:44,995 --> 00:11:45,996 [Klaus babbles] 219 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:48,374 All right. Peace and love, peace and love. Here I come. 220 00:11:48,457 --> 00:11:50,042 [Klaus groans] Damn it. 221 00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:51,627 Come at me, litter box! 222 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,337 [Christopher speaks] 223 00:11:53,421 --> 00:11:56,132 Hey! Listen, I have amazing hair, all right? 224 00:11:56,215 --> 00:11:57,550 This was era-appropriate! 225 00:11:57,633 --> 00:11:59,510 [groans] 226 00:11:59,593 --> 00:12:00,594 That's all you got? 227 00:12:02,012 --> 00:12:04,014 ♪ And Sancho Panza? ♪ 228 00:12:05,933 --> 00:12:09,645 ♪ Whatever happened to the heroes? ♪ 229 00:12:12,940 --> 00:12:15,526 You're alive. That's… great. Or possibly horrible. 230 00:12:15,609 --> 00:12:18,112 -I'm not really sure yet. -Is that some kind of weird smack talk? 231 00:12:18,195 --> 00:12:20,281 It's more of an existential problem, really, Ben. 232 00:12:20,364 --> 00:12:22,199 Awesome. Well, here's your next problem. 233 00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:28,748 You know, even though you're a total asshat now… 234 00:12:30,791 --> 00:12:32,084 [Ben crashes] 235 00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:34,295 …it's nice to see you again, really. 236 00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:37,089 [Diego yells] 237 00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:38,632 [Christopher speaks] 238 00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:41,218 Who's your daddy? I'm your daddy! 239 00:12:41,302 --> 00:12:44,847 Who's… your… daddy? 240 00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:46,932 [Diego screams] 241 00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:54,732 [raven cawing] 242 00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:56,859 I don't wanna fight you! 243 00:13:00,154 --> 00:13:02,156 Aww! Did you wanna be best friends? 244 00:13:02,823 --> 00:13:04,200 [Vanya groans] 245 00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:08,871 You know, for a blind person, you're not bad. 246 00:13:08,954 --> 00:13:10,247 Who says I'm blind, asshole? 247 00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:11,290 [cawing] 248 00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:15,711 [grunting] 249 00:13:22,718 --> 00:13:24,011 Should I step in and help? 250 00:13:24,094 --> 00:13:26,180 -Nah. She's making a point. -[fighting grunts continue] 251 00:13:26,263 --> 00:13:27,181 Popcorn? 252 00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:31,936 [Vanya] My turn. 253 00:13:35,731 --> 00:13:38,025 [Vanya screams, grunts] 254 00:13:38,108 --> 00:13:39,652 Art snob, huh? 255 00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:41,987 [Diego grunts] 256 00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:45,491 [Klaus] See? We're hugging! 257 00:13:45,574 --> 00:13:47,076 This is progress! 258 00:13:48,577 --> 00:13:52,456 ♪ Whatever happened to the heroes? ♪ 259 00:13:54,041 --> 00:13:57,127 -[Allison grunts] -♪ No more heroes any more ♪ 260 00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:59,046 ♪ No more heroes… ♪ 261 00:13:59,129 --> 00:14:00,130 By the way, 262 00:14:00,714 --> 00:14:02,883 I heard a rumor you can't move. [voice echoes] 263 00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:06,679 -Hit me. -What? 264 00:14:06,762 --> 00:14:08,556 -Come on. Hit me in the face. -Okay. 265 00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:09,557 Hit me! 266 00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:17,523 ♪ Whatever happened to the heroes? ♪ 267 00:14:17,606 --> 00:14:20,234 [bones crunching] 268 00:14:20,317 --> 00:14:24,321 ♪ Whatever happened to the heroes? ♪ 269 00:14:26,991 --> 00:14:28,158 [Allison groans] 270 00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:29,159 I bet that hurt, huh? 271 00:14:29,243 --> 00:14:32,037 -[gasps] -♪ No more heroes any more ♪ 272 00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:35,666 ♪ No more heroes any more ♪ 273 00:14:35,749 --> 00:14:36,750 Fast little guy. 274 00:14:37,334 --> 00:14:39,003 [Allison panting] 275 00:14:39,086 --> 00:14:39,920 Thanks. 276 00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:40,921 [Five] No problem. 277 00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:43,549 Hey, short pants. What's up? 278 00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:47,720 Go help the others. I'll handle this one. 279 00:14:47,803 --> 00:14:49,638 -Okay. -What are you, their mascot? 280 00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:52,683 [Jayme groans] 281 00:14:52,766 --> 00:14:53,934 More like their ringer. 282 00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:55,394 [hisses] 283 00:14:55,477 --> 00:14:56,353 Ugh. 284 00:14:56,854 --> 00:14:58,397 Hey, gross, all right? 285 00:15:01,442 --> 00:15:02,568 The hell? 286 00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:08,449 [emotional string music playing] 287 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,041 Delores? 288 00:15:17,666 --> 00:15:18,500 [whispers] Delores? 289 00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:24,173 [Delores speaking in Italian] 290 00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:26,717 [speaking in Italian] 291 00:15:34,975 --> 00:15:37,478 [speaking in Italian] 292 00:15:39,813 --> 00:15:41,231 [speaking in Italian] 293 00:15:42,399 --> 00:15:45,235 [emotional music swells] 294 00:15:47,404 --> 00:15:48,530 Ugh. 295 00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:54,453 Are they all perverts? 296 00:15:57,414 --> 00:15:59,750 [Five grunts] 297 00:16:02,503 --> 00:16:03,629 [groans] 298 00:16:03,712 --> 00:16:05,714 [panting] 299 00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:10,302 -[Luther groans] -[Marcus] See? 300 00:16:11,345 --> 00:16:14,598 -Bigger isn't always better. -Is that what you tell your girlfriends? 301 00:16:17,101 --> 00:16:18,018 [Luther groans] 302 00:16:19,687 --> 00:16:21,939 -[Fei] Thai food for dinner? -I could go for pad see ew. 303 00:16:22,022 --> 00:16:23,399 I'm in. Marcus, Thai? 304 00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:25,442 Why are you even asking him? He hates Thai. 305 00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:27,569 -What? Since when? -Fine. Italian? 306 00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:29,905 -Absolutely not. -I could do Italian. 307 00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:33,534 [grunts] 308 00:16:34,868 --> 00:16:35,786 [groans] 309 00:16:36,745 --> 00:16:38,956 -[Marcus] We done here? -[Luther groans] Nope. 310 00:16:39,039 --> 00:16:41,208 [chuckles] I don't run from a fight. 311 00:16:41,291 --> 00:16:44,461 -Yeah, that's the wrong answer, dude. -Let him finish him off. 312 00:16:44,545 --> 00:16:45,462 [grunts] 313 00:16:46,046 --> 00:16:47,047 Then let's end this. 314 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,341 [Luther grunts] 315 00:16:49,425 --> 00:16:53,554 [repeated grunts] 316 00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:55,264 [groans] 317 00:16:55,347 --> 00:16:56,849 [panting] 318 00:16:56,932 --> 00:16:58,392 -[Marcus] Stay down! -Luther! 319 00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:00,019 Vanya! 320 00:17:00,102 --> 00:17:01,186 [Sloane] You again. 321 00:17:05,566 --> 00:17:07,151 Luther, go! Get out! 322 00:17:11,488 --> 00:17:12,698 [Vanya] No! 323 00:17:13,907 --> 00:17:15,492 [Vanya groans] 324 00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:16,702 [screams] 325 00:17:28,547 --> 00:17:30,549 [energy thrumming] 326 00:17:49,276 --> 00:17:51,737 Which one are you? Scruffy? Fatty? 327 00:17:51,820 --> 00:17:54,031 Sad Girl? I forget the rest. 328 00:17:54,114 --> 00:17:56,366 Who are these absolute psychopaths, 329 00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:58,243 and why are they in our house? 330 00:17:58,327 --> 00:18:00,537 Simple. Once your oafish tribe 331 00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:03,290 showed me what a poor job I did with my first selections, 332 00:18:03,373 --> 00:18:04,792 I adopted them instead of you. 333 00:18:04,875 --> 00:18:05,709 Dad! 334 00:18:05,793 --> 00:18:09,296 I'm not your father, young man. Not anymore. Biscuit? 335 00:18:09,379 --> 00:18:11,840 Klaus! We gotta go, man. Now. These guys are too good. 336 00:18:12,841 --> 00:18:15,344 For you guys. I'm loving it. 337 00:18:15,427 --> 00:18:17,513 But you're probably gonna die. Come on. 338 00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:19,348 [sighs] 339 00:18:19,848 --> 00:18:22,559 -[groans] -[joints crack] 340 00:18:26,772 --> 00:18:29,900 -[Sloane grunts] -Oh! Shit. 341 00:18:29,983 --> 00:18:31,026 [gasps for air] 342 00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:34,196 Hey, I'm sorry. Uh, are you okay? 343 00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:36,031 Yeah. 344 00:18:37,533 --> 00:18:38,575 Hi. 345 00:18:39,284 --> 00:18:40,369 I'm Sloane. 346 00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:42,871 Hey, Sloane. 347 00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:44,248 -[chuckles] -Uh… 348 00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:47,292 -I'm Luther. -Luther, we're leaving! Come on! 349 00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:49,336 -Just a second-- -[Allison] Come on! We gotta go! 350 00:18:52,339 --> 00:18:53,924 [ravens screeching] 351 00:18:56,593 --> 00:18:57,636 [screeching] 352 00:18:57,719 --> 00:18:59,680 -Seriously? -[Allison] Move, move, move, move! 353 00:19:01,431 --> 00:19:03,142 [ravens squawking] 354 00:19:04,017 --> 00:19:05,102 The briefcase! 355 00:19:05,185 --> 00:19:06,103 -What? -No time! 356 00:19:06,186 --> 00:19:09,106 -[Luther] I hate that he can do that! -[Allison] Go! Shut it! 357 00:19:09,189 --> 00:19:10,107 [Luther] Quick! Get in! 358 00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:11,859 [ravens screeching] 359 00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:13,068 [both panting] 360 00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:14,486 Oh shit. 361 00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:16,071 [pounding and scratching at door] 362 00:19:17,781 --> 00:19:19,241 [Allison and Luther gasp] 363 00:19:23,328 --> 00:19:25,205 -Oh shit! -What do we do? 364 00:19:26,623 --> 00:19:27,624 Haul ass! 365 00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:30,460 Where's the briefcase? 366 00:19:30,544 --> 00:19:31,712 Shit, it's gone! 367 00:19:32,588 --> 00:19:34,756 [Vanya groaning in pain] 368 00:19:35,924 --> 00:19:37,467 Vanya, get out of there! 369 00:19:39,845 --> 00:19:42,097 [Vanya panting] 370 00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:13,795 -[groans] -[glass shatters] 371 00:20:14,963 --> 00:20:17,257 -[Vanya whimpers] -[Alphonso coughs] 372 00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:18,550 [Marcus sighs] 373 00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:32,940 [Christopher speaks] 374 00:20:34,107 --> 00:20:35,359 [sighs] 375 00:20:40,113 --> 00:20:41,240 [Vanya whimpers] 376 00:20:41,865 --> 00:20:42,908 [Marcus] It's over. 377 00:20:43,617 --> 00:20:44,534 Go. 378 00:20:45,035 --> 00:20:46,912 Don't come back. 379 00:20:47,412 --> 00:20:49,915 [whimpers] 380 00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:01,301 [Alphonso coughs] 381 00:21:02,886 --> 00:21:05,222 [dramatic orchestral music playing] 382 00:21:08,725 --> 00:21:10,727 [energy thrumming loudly] 383 00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:28,412 [all groaning] 384 00:21:41,758 --> 00:21:44,553 [Luther] Just gonna sit. I'm just gonna sit for a minute. 385 00:21:44,636 --> 00:21:45,929 [Luther groans] 386 00:21:46,013 --> 00:21:47,139 That didn't go well. 387 00:21:47,222 --> 00:21:48,849 No, not our best work. 388 00:21:48,932 --> 00:21:50,642 -[joints cracking] -Oh, I'm cracking. 389 00:21:51,977 --> 00:21:52,978 You all right? 390 00:21:53,061 --> 00:21:54,187 I don't know yet. 391 00:21:54,271 --> 00:21:58,317 [Luther] I've just never had my ass handed to me like that before. 392 00:21:58,400 --> 00:21:59,443 It's like… 393 00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:02,070 Here you go. 394 00:22:03,405 --> 00:22:04,781 It's your ass. 395 00:22:07,826 --> 00:22:09,536 Okay, I think Luther's concussed. 396 00:22:10,245 --> 00:22:11,330 Luther, how many fingers? 397 00:22:12,456 --> 00:22:14,124 Oh my God. Vanya. 398 00:22:14,207 --> 00:22:16,043 [Vanya] Oh. Thank God you're alive. 399 00:22:16,126 --> 00:22:17,919 -You okay? -[Klaus] Apparently, so is Ben. 400 00:22:18,003 --> 00:22:19,338 Yeah. And he's a complete dickhead. 401 00:22:19,421 --> 00:22:21,757 -They're all dickheads. -[Luther] Dickheads who can fight. 402 00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:24,551 Okay, next person to say "dickhead" is getting a punch to the throat. 403 00:22:24,634 --> 00:22:25,510 -Dickhead. -Dickhead. 404 00:22:25,594 --> 00:22:26,970 -Dickhead. -Dickhead. 405 00:22:27,054 --> 00:22:29,139 Hey, did Dad tell you why he was calling them his kids? 406 00:22:29,222 --> 00:22:30,515 [Klaus laughs] He sure did! 407 00:22:30,599 --> 00:22:31,892 You ready? 408 00:22:31,975 --> 00:22:34,811 Dad was so repulsed by us back in Texas, 409 00:22:34,895 --> 00:22:37,522 that he adopted an entirely different group of children 410 00:22:37,606 --> 00:22:40,150 just so that he didn't have to raise us. 411 00:22:40,233 --> 00:22:41,902 -That's just peak Dad. -[Luther] Isn't it? 412 00:22:41,985 --> 00:22:44,529 -So he just didn't want us anymore? -[Allison] Did he ever? 413 00:22:44,613 --> 00:22:47,491 See? I told you we shouldn't have asked him for help in '63. 414 00:22:47,574 --> 00:22:49,409 I think you're all missing the big picture here. 415 00:22:50,118 --> 00:22:52,662 If Dad didn't adopt us as kids, he changed the timeline. 416 00:22:52,746 --> 00:22:54,831 So who knows what else is different now. 417 00:22:54,915 --> 00:22:56,208 Shouldn't you know? 418 00:22:56,291 --> 00:22:57,167 Sorry, Allison, 419 00:22:57,250 --> 00:23:00,170 but it might take me more than 20 minutes and a traumatic brain injury 420 00:23:00,253 --> 00:23:01,296 to figure this all out. 421 00:23:01,380 --> 00:23:02,756 Is that okay with you? 422 00:23:02,839 --> 00:23:04,424 No, actually, it's not. 423 00:23:04,508 --> 00:23:06,218 [Vanya] Guys, look, it's fine. 424 00:23:06,301 --> 00:23:08,220 We still have the Commission's briefcase, 425 00:23:08,303 --> 00:23:11,515 so worst case, we can just go back in time and fix it. 426 00:23:11,598 --> 00:23:12,766 -Great. -[Five] Okay. 427 00:23:12,849 --> 00:23:14,768 There are two problems with that statement. 428 00:23:14,851 --> 00:23:16,853 -First off-- -Here we go. 429 00:23:16,937 --> 00:23:20,774 -Time travel is complicated, people. -Yeah, we get it. Your job is so hard. 430 00:23:20,857 --> 00:23:21,817 Just… what? 431 00:23:21,900 --> 00:23:22,859 And secondly… 432 00:23:24,569 --> 00:23:26,321 I no longer have the briefcase. 433 00:23:28,573 --> 00:23:31,118 Five, where the hell is the briefcase? 434 00:23:47,008 --> 00:23:49,010 [energy pulsing] 435 00:24:02,649 --> 00:24:07,237 [energy thrumming loudly] 436 00:24:40,812 --> 00:24:44,983 [energy droning] 437 00:24:45,066 --> 00:24:46,193 [droning stops] 438 00:25:05,003 --> 00:25:06,129 What are we doing? 439 00:25:07,339 --> 00:25:09,883 -Ruminating. -Why is everyone staring at us? 440 00:25:09,966 --> 00:25:12,427 Because we look like the damn Village People just lost a fight. 441 00:25:12,511 --> 00:25:14,012 -Gimme that. Hey. -Ow!' 442 00:25:14,095 --> 00:25:16,097 -You know what? I need to go find Claire. -Cut it out. 443 00:25:16,181 --> 00:25:18,308 -I will catch up with you guys later. -Hey, Allison, no. 444 00:25:18,391 --> 00:25:20,936 First, let's get somewhere safe, clean up those cuts, 445 00:25:21,019 --> 00:25:22,687 and then we'll go find her. 446 00:25:22,771 --> 00:25:24,606 Man, I hate those guys. 447 00:25:26,858 --> 00:25:30,946 [Luther] Look at 'em with their… stupid smug… 448 00:25:31,029 --> 00:25:33,031 You can do it. You can do it. 449 00:25:33,698 --> 00:25:35,534 …s… s… smug… 450 00:25:36,826 --> 00:25:37,827 smugness. 451 00:25:38,370 --> 00:25:42,165 [sighs] Keep working on it, big guy. You'll land one, eventually. 452 00:25:42,249 --> 00:25:43,667 But honestly, what are we doing? 453 00:25:43,750 --> 00:25:45,919 We can't stand here bleeding out in this park. 454 00:25:46,002 --> 00:25:48,672 I don't know, but we better gear up fast before they come for round two. 455 00:25:48,755 --> 00:25:50,382 What makes you think they'll come after us? 456 00:25:50,465 --> 00:25:51,675 Because I would. 457 00:25:52,384 --> 00:25:54,886 -Yeah, we did break into their house… -Our house. 458 00:25:54,970 --> 00:25:57,639 …bust up all their nice antiques and shit. 459 00:25:57,722 --> 00:26:01,351 Yeah. I don't think the crime-fighting… super nerds are gonna let that go. 460 00:26:01,434 --> 00:26:03,603 Let's just think of some place off the radar 461 00:26:03,687 --> 00:26:05,355 where we can lie low and not draw attention. 462 00:26:05,438 --> 00:26:08,191 What kind of a weird-ass place are we not gonna draw attention? 463 00:26:18,577 --> 00:26:19,953 [light jazz music playing] 464 00:26:24,791 --> 00:26:26,793 [car horn honking] 465 00:26:27,502 --> 00:26:32,299 [police siren wailing] 466 00:26:35,051 --> 00:26:35,927 [thudding] 467 00:26:36,011 --> 00:26:38,013 [Allison] Oh. Okay. Honestly? 468 00:26:38,513 --> 00:26:39,431 Okay. 469 00:26:40,056 --> 00:26:40,890 [thudding continues] 470 00:26:40,974 --> 00:26:43,184 [Allison] We don't all need to be squeezed… 471 00:26:43,268 --> 00:26:45,687 [Five] There were two entrances, by the way. 472 00:26:46,813 --> 00:26:51,568 Oh, Hotel Obsidian. I missed you, you slutty old dame. 473 00:26:52,319 --> 00:26:53,320 Absorb her. 474 00:26:53,403 --> 00:26:55,405 Absorb her into your bosom. 475 00:26:55,488 --> 00:26:59,326 You know, 'cause back in her heyday, she played host to world leaders. 476 00:26:59,409 --> 00:27:00,535 Roosevelt, Gandhi, 477 00:27:00,619 --> 00:27:02,495 Stalin, Gorbachev, Castro, 478 00:27:02,579 --> 00:27:04,122 King Olaf of Norway, 479 00:27:04,205 --> 00:27:07,042 one of the Kim Jongs, Tito, Dalai Lama, Elvis, 480 00:27:07,125 --> 00:27:11,338 and not one but two Kardashians, allegedly. 481 00:27:11,421 --> 00:27:12,380 [phone ringing] 482 00:27:12,464 --> 00:27:15,008 -Wouldn't that-- Where you going? -[Allison] I gotta make a call. 483 00:27:15,091 --> 00:27:18,637 Nowadays, she's just a flophouse, a party house 484 00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:23,850 for those of us not looking to be judged by society's rules and norms. 485 00:27:24,476 --> 00:27:25,602 You mean, a place to hide? 486 00:27:25,685 --> 00:27:27,270 Exactly! It's perfect! 487 00:27:27,354 --> 00:27:30,357 And the best part of it is, she's gonna look after us, 488 00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:31,691 no questions asked. 489 00:27:31,775 --> 00:27:33,443 Never ever. Right? 490 00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:38,114 Come on. 491 00:27:38,740 --> 00:27:41,076 -I may have questions. -[Luther] Yeah, me too. 492 00:27:42,869 --> 00:27:44,579 This place is weird. 493 00:27:45,163 --> 00:27:46,456 [phone ringing] 494 00:27:54,005 --> 00:27:56,007 [phone line ringing] 495 00:27:59,469 --> 00:28:02,097 [Patrick] Hi, you've reached Patrick. Leave a message after the beep. 496 00:28:02,180 --> 00:28:05,016 -[beep] -Patrick. Hey, it's Allison. 497 00:28:05,892 --> 00:28:08,728 I know I've missed a few calls home. It's just, um… 498 00:28:10,980 --> 00:28:12,190 Well, it's, um… 499 00:28:15,276 --> 00:28:16,486 Anyway, um… 500 00:28:18,154 --> 00:28:19,656 I'll call Claire later. 501 00:28:21,533 --> 00:28:22,575 Please tell her 502 00:28:23,910 --> 00:28:25,328 that Mommy misses her. 503 00:28:28,373 --> 00:28:30,041 [sharp inhale] So much. 504 00:28:30,125 --> 00:28:31,960 [dial tone humming] 505 00:28:36,464 --> 00:28:38,299 [gasps] Chet! Mon frère! 506 00:28:38,383 --> 00:28:42,303 It's so great to see you. I'd like my usual suite, por favor. 507 00:28:42,387 --> 00:28:44,848 -[bell rings faintly] -I've never seen you before. 508 00:28:44,931 --> 00:28:47,183 -See? Told you. Discreet. -[dog whimpers] 509 00:28:47,267 --> 00:28:49,185 Please stop scaring my dog. 510 00:28:51,646 --> 00:28:53,857 -We need some rooms, please. -[Chet] Super. 511 00:28:55,024 --> 00:28:57,902 And how will we be paying today? 512 00:28:59,237 --> 00:29:00,488 -Ah. -Oh. 513 00:29:01,781 --> 00:29:03,283 [Luther] Fine. Empty your pockets. 514 00:29:03,825 --> 00:29:05,160 Come on. Something. 515 00:29:05,827 --> 00:29:08,997 -[Luther] Condom? Put the knife away! -[Klaus] Can't exchange those for cash. 516 00:29:10,039 --> 00:29:11,541 Why do I have a hairnet? 517 00:29:13,376 --> 00:29:14,294 [Luther] Oh. 518 00:29:15,503 --> 00:29:16,921 [sighs] All right. 519 00:29:20,133 --> 00:29:21,551 Ooh. 520 00:29:21,634 --> 00:29:23,344 What does this get us? 521 00:29:33,688 --> 00:29:35,064 Two rooms. 522 00:29:35,148 --> 00:29:36,816 Mazel tov. 523 00:29:36,900 --> 00:29:38,109 -Awesome. -All right. 524 00:29:38,193 --> 00:29:41,196 Well, let's Brady Bunch this bitch. 525 00:29:43,823 --> 00:29:46,826 [Five] Uh, meet back in the bar in two hours so we can make a plan. 526 00:29:48,203 --> 00:29:49,120 [Diego] I have a plan. 527 00:29:50,163 --> 00:29:52,707 We attack the Sparrows, and we take back our house, 528 00:29:52,791 --> 00:29:55,835 and then we punch Dad a bit until he admits that we're better 529 00:29:55,919 --> 00:29:57,879 and he loves us more. Boom! Done! 530 00:29:57,962 --> 00:29:58,963 We're wasting time! 531 00:29:59,047 --> 00:30:01,007 Relax. Don't sweat it, man. 532 00:30:01,090 --> 00:30:03,718 Those shit birds are staying put for a while. 533 00:30:03,802 --> 00:30:05,762 I bet they're as wiped as we are. 534 00:30:06,930 --> 00:30:07,764 -Really? -Yeah. 535 00:30:07,847 --> 00:30:10,683 I mean, kicking our asses looked exhausting. 536 00:30:10,767 --> 00:30:12,769 [up-tempo electronic music playing] 537 00:30:14,604 --> 00:30:18,107 Big one is strong but slow, possibly stupid. 538 00:30:18,650 --> 00:30:21,361 Some sort of… simian hybrid. 539 00:30:21,444 --> 00:30:23,196 Who took the little jumpy guy? 540 00:30:23,279 --> 00:30:25,490 Me. Just gave him a spanking and sent him to school. 541 00:30:25,573 --> 00:30:26,741 Hey-oh! 542 00:30:26,825 --> 00:30:28,618 [Christopher speaks] 543 00:30:28,701 --> 00:30:30,495 The skinny one is their weak link. 544 00:30:30,578 --> 00:30:35,083 Unless hiding behind couches shouting, "Where's my daddy?" is his superpower. 545 00:30:35,667 --> 00:30:36,835 [treadmill chimes] 546 00:30:36,918 --> 00:30:40,421 Enough post-gaming. They disrespected us, Marcus. 547 00:30:40,505 --> 00:30:43,216 We need to be out there finding these freaks and taking 'em out. 548 00:30:43,299 --> 00:30:44,801 Oh, you mean like this? 549 00:30:44,884 --> 00:30:45,885 [music stops] 550 00:30:51,057 --> 00:30:52,183 [treadmill chimes] 551 00:30:54,811 --> 00:30:58,982 Can someone explain how you got your asses handed to you in 30 seconds? 552 00:30:59,065 --> 00:31:01,860 Do you have any idea what would happen to our reputation 553 00:31:01,943 --> 00:31:04,237 if anyone had seen that? 554 00:31:06,364 --> 00:31:09,325 [Marcus] I mean, we haven't faced decent enemies for years. 555 00:31:09,409 --> 00:31:11,244 This could be good for us. 556 00:31:12,287 --> 00:31:13,371 Good for business. 557 00:31:13,454 --> 00:31:17,542 But only if we're smart with our next move. 558 00:31:17,625 --> 00:31:19,168 -[sighs] -[Reginald clears throat] 559 00:31:20,712 --> 00:31:22,046 You summoned, Number One? 560 00:31:23,172 --> 00:31:24,007 Sit. 561 00:31:27,385 --> 00:31:31,139 You spent time with these people. What's your assessment? 562 00:31:31,723 --> 00:31:36,603 Unimpressive. Neanderthals on a day pass. Cried too much and showered too little. 563 00:31:36,686 --> 00:31:40,440 The only thing they lacked more than grit was any regard for one another. 564 00:31:40,523 --> 00:31:43,276 No loyalty. We can use that. 565 00:31:43,359 --> 00:31:46,321 Good. Give a full report to Christopher. 566 00:31:46,404 --> 00:31:48,323 [Christopher speaks] 567 00:31:51,075 --> 00:31:52,035 Still, 568 00:31:52,994 --> 00:31:55,914 I wouldn't underestimate the Umbrella Academy. 569 00:31:56,497 --> 00:31:59,167 Yes, their skills are as lacking as their hygiene, 570 00:31:59,250 --> 00:32:03,713 yet somehow, they saved the world in 1963. 571 00:32:04,756 --> 00:32:06,007 Had they not, 572 00:32:07,258 --> 00:32:09,594 none of you would be standing here now. 573 00:32:11,846 --> 00:32:13,348 Perhaps I misjudged them. 574 00:32:13,431 --> 00:32:16,976 [Christopher speaks] 575 00:32:17,060 --> 00:32:18,811 Yes, yes. I'm going. 576 00:32:22,649 --> 00:32:24,400 [exhales sharply] 577 00:32:24,484 --> 00:32:26,235 [Klaus] Not in this hotel. 578 00:32:26,319 --> 00:32:27,820 [gasps] Oh! 579 00:32:28,488 --> 00:32:30,531 See? It's paradise. 580 00:32:31,115 --> 00:32:33,743 High ceilings, sense of space. 581 00:32:33,826 --> 00:32:34,994 Aromatic. 582 00:32:35,078 --> 00:32:36,579 What the hell? 583 00:32:37,246 --> 00:32:39,666 -Where's the bathroom? -Down the hall, or… 584 00:32:41,209 --> 00:32:42,835 Nature's bathroom. 585 00:32:42,919 --> 00:32:44,128 You're disgusting. 586 00:32:44,212 --> 00:32:45,463 But consistent. 587 00:32:45,546 --> 00:32:47,382 [Five] Let's unpack. Settle in. 588 00:32:48,091 --> 00:32:51,135 Unpack? Unpack what? We don't own anything anymore. 589 00:32:51,219 --> 00:32:53,012 Yes, Luther. Isn't that liberating? 590 00:32:53,096 --> 00:32:55,014 -What are you, a commie? -[urine trickling] 591 00:32:55,098 --> 00:32:57,976 No! If I wanted bunk beds and group showers, 592 00:32:58,059 --> 00:33:00,186 I would've stayed in the Texas nuthouse. 593 00:33:00,269 --> 00:33:02,397 -At least they had free Jell-O. -[bed springs creak] 594 00:33:03,564 --> 00:33:05,483 -And Lila. -[Klaus] Jell-O! 595 00:33:05,566 --> 00:33:07,652 -[bed springs creaking] -[Five] Hey, Diego. 596 00:33:07,735 --> 00:33:10,571 I just spent the past 20 straight days saving the world. 597 00:33:10,655 --> 00:33:11,614 Twice. 598 00:33:12,407 --> 00:33:16,494 Can I get five minutes to relax before figuring all the new kinks out? 599 00:33:16,577 --> 00:33:18,079 Please and thank you. 600 00:33:18,162 --> 00:33:20,039 And Dad said I'd never go to summer camp. 601 00:33:20,123 --> 00:33:21,874 [chuckles] This is great. 602 00:33:22,750 --> 00:33:24,961 [Klaus] All right, I'm bored. Cocktail, anyone? 603 00:33:25,044 --> 00:33:25,962 -Five? -[Diego grumbles] 604 00:33:26,045 --> 00:33:27,672 [Five] I'll take a scotch if you have one. 605 00:33:27,755 --> 00:33:31,050 -[light string music playing] -[cats meowing and purring] 606 00:33:33,302 --> 00:33:35,847 [clears throat] It's not too small. 607 00:33:35,930 --> 00:33:37,890 It's definitely ugly. 608 00:33:39,559 --> 00:33:40,768 [Vanya sighs] 609 00:33:42,937 --> 00:33:46,733 Last night, I was sleeping in my own bed next to my amazing husband. 610 00:33:47,859 --> 00:33:50,403 I kissed Sissy goodbye a few hours ago. 611 00:33:51,654 --> 00:33:53,114 Give or take 50 years. 612 00:33:57,201 --> 00:34:00,121 I'm glad you finally found somebody that treated you right. 613 00:34:00,955 --> 00:34:02,915 She saw me for who I really am. 614 00:34:05,126 --> 00:34:07,003 I'm not ready to give that up. 615 00:34:08,171 --> 00:34:09,839 I feel the same about Ray. 616 00:34:12,884 --> 00:34:16,929 We better not have left them just to die in some superhero turf war. 617 00:34:19,223 --> 00:34:20,475 You need to go home. 618 00:34:21,601 --> 00:34:22,810 Hug your daughter. 619 00:34:31,736 --> 00:34:34,697 What if Diego's right and the Sparrows attack? 620 00:34:34,781 --> 00:34:37,325 We fought the entire Commission. 621 00:34:37,408 --> 00:34:41,079 I mean, we can handle, what? Seven jerks in uniforms? 622 00:34:41,954 --> 00:34:43,790 They just caught us off guard. 623 00:34:45,333 --> 00:34:46,292 Yeah. 624 00:34:55,218 --> 00:34:56,761 You should go to the airport. 625 00:34:58,679 --> 00:35:00,515 And get back to your real life. 626 00:35:01,182 --> 00:35:02,517 I would if I could. 627 00:35:12,735 --> 00:35:13,861 [Allison] Thank you. 628 00:35:16,114 --> 00:35:17,490 You're a good sister. 629 00:35:58,156 --> 00:36:00,783 -[indistinct chatter] -[baby crying] 630 00:36:00,867 --> 00:36:02,577 [dramatic string music playing] 631 00:36:02,660 --> 00:36:03,911 [man] Dumb mistake. 632 00:36:05,454 --> 00:36:06,914 [boy] Mom, my hands are wet. 633 00:36:06,998 --> 00:36:10,251 [crying and chattering continue] 634 00:36:40,823 --> 00:36:42,825 [crying and chattering fade out] 635 00:36:42,909 --> 00:36:45,995 [sound of bees droning] 636 00:36:50,333 --> 00:36:53,878 [droning continues] 637 00:36:53,961 --> 00:36:55,963 [crowd cheering] 638 00:36:59,217 --> 00:37:00,218 [Marcus grunts] 639 00:37:02,595 --> 00:37:04,347 [helicopter flying overhead] 640 00:37:06,599 --> 00:37:07,558 [grunts] 641 00:37:07,642 --> 00:37:09,644 [cheering continues] 642 00:37:11,812 --> 00:37:15,858 [ominous orchestral music playing] 643 00:37:23,866 --> 00:37:25,409 I'm glad we're doing this. 644 00:37:26,285 --> 00:37:29,372 Whatever happens between our two families, the Number Ones should orchestrate it. 645 00:37:31,457 --> 00:37:33,125 I'm Number Seven, actually. 646 00:37:35,211 --> 00:37:36,671 Well, then somebody screwed up. 647 00:37:38,839 --> 00:37:41,217 My brothers think you're gonna come after us. 648 00:37:43,469 --> 00:37:44,637 I don't want a war. 649 00:37:45,263 --> 00:37:46,264 We've lost enough. 650 00:37:46,347 --> 00:37:48,432 Then you shouldn't have attacked us in our own house. 651 00:37:50,810 --> 00:37:51,769 Look, 652 00:37:52,812 --> 00:37:54,480 this isn't personal, 653 00:37:54,563 --> 00:37:57,024 but we're the only superhero game in town. 654 00:37:57,108 --> 00:37:58,734 We have this place under complete control. 655 00:37:58,818 --> 00:38:00,486 But if your people start taking shots at us, 656 00:38:00,569 --> 00:38:02,655 it will give the sheep ideas. 657 00:38:02,738 --> 00:38:03,698 We won't. That's-- 658 00:38:03,781 --> 00:38:06,325 And I'm just supposed to take your word on that? 659 00:38:06,409 --> 00:38:07,827 For your whole family? 660 00:38:09,328 --> 00:38:11,289 You're not even their Number One. 661 00:38:13,124 --> 00:38:15,084 And I'm sorry, but I can't risk that. 662 00:38:15,793 --> 00:38:18,963 So if you came here to beg me not to make the next move… 663 00:38:22,300 --> 00:38:24,010 I came here to tell you mine. 664 00:38:25,970 --> 00:38:29,056 Tomorrow morning, when your busloads of fans show up, 665 00:38:29,140 --> 00:38:31,726 I'm gonna be there on your front lawn, 666 00:38:32,852 --> 00:38:36,105 and I'm gonna call you out for a fight, just you and me. 667 00:38:36,689 --> 00:38:38,357 [scoffs] 668 00:38:38,441 --> 00:38:39,275 Why? 669 00:38:40,735 --> 00:38:42,361 Because your team is good. 670 00:38:44,780 --> 00:38:46,032 Better than mine, maybe. 671 00:38:46,115 --> 00:38:47,241 [electricity crackles] 672 00:38:47,325 --> 00:38:48,451 [low rumbling] 673 00:38:48,534 --> 00:38:51,120 But I don't think you're better than me, Marcus. 674 00:38:51,203 --> 00:38:53,581 [ominous string music playing] 675 00:38:53,664 --> 00:38:57,209 I ended the world twice. 676 00:38:58,252 --> 00:38:59,295 And you? 677 00:39:00,254 --> 00:39:02,131 You're just meat in spandex. 678 00:39:03,924 --> 00:39:06,927 And I bet you don't want the whole world watching 679 00:39:07,011 --> 00:39:08,554 when I prove that to you. 680 00:39:08,637 --> 00:39:11,223 [cup and saucer clattering] 681 00:39:22,735 --> 00:39:24,570 What do you really want, Vanya? 682 00:39:25,905 --> 00:39:28,574 You have something I need, and I want it back. 683 00:39:33,037 --> 00:39:35,831 [suspenseful music swelling] 684 00:39:35,915 --> 00:39:37,083 [cawing] 685 00:39:38,417 --> 00:39:40,836 [cawing] 686 00:39:43,255 --> 00:39:45,800 [cawing] 687 00:39:53,557 --> 00:39:55,184 He's making a deal with them. 688 00:39:55,684 --> 00:39:56,727 I'll handle it. 689 00:40:09,365 --> 00:40:13,411 [Klaus] You should try chewing. You might actually taste the food. 690 00:40:13,494 --> 00:40:14,662 I haven't eaten in days. 691 00:40:14,745 --> 00:40:16,956 -[light jazz playing in background] -What's wrong? 692 00:40:17,039 --> 00:40:18,749 -You look happy. -[Five] I am plenty happy. 693 00:40:18,833 --> 00:40:21,335 Had a nap and a shvitz. What does a man need? 694 00:40:21,419 --> 00:40:23,337 Brothers who don't eat like barn animals? 695 00:40:26,006 --> 00:40:28,592 So I've been thinking through our little timeline snafu, 696 00:40:28,676 --> 00:40:32,304 and I'm pleased to report that in my professional, expert opinion, 697 00:40:32,388 --> 00:40:33,889 we are totally in the clear. 698 00:40:33,973 --> 00:40:35,307 -Awesome! -Huh! 699 00:40:35,391 --> 00:40:36,308 -Great. -Yeah. 700 00:40:36,392 --> 00:40:38,686 -So everything's totally fine? -More or less. 701 00:40:38,769 --> 00:40:42,106 I mean, there is one… small thing. 702 00:40:42,189 --> 00:40:43,941 It's nothing we can't manage. 703 00:40:47,236 --> 00:40:48,779 So spit it out, Boomer! 704 00:40:48,863 --> 00:40:51,115 Fine, Diego, it's like this. 705 00:40:51,198 --> 00:40:55,494 Dad didn't adopt us as babies, but those babies still existed here. 706 00:40:55,578 --> 00:40:56,495 Aww! 707 00:40:56,579 --> 00:40:58,956 We just grew up in different places with different people. 708 00:40:59,039 --> 00:40:59,957 So? 709 00:41:00,541 --> 00:41:02,334 So where are they now? 710 00:41:02,418 --> 00:41:05,588 Odds are, we each have identical versions of ourselves 711 00:41:05,671 --> 00:41:09,175 walking around out there, living completely different lives. 712 00:41:10,050 --> 00:41:11,051 [gasps] 713 00:41:12,511 --> 00:41:14,430 -Our doppelgängers! -That's a made-up word. 714 00:41:14,513 --> 00:41:16,682 No, no! I learned all about this in Texas. 715 00:41:16,765 --> 00:41:18,726 Tell him about the paranoid psychosis, Five. 716 00:41:18,809 --> 00:41:21,520 Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa! I thought you said this wasn't a problem. 717 00:41:21,604 --> 00:41:25,274 Okay, yes, technically, if you're near your doppel for long, you'll go insane. 718 00:41:25,357 --> 00:41:27,234 -So, if you see your other self-- -Kill them. 719 00:41:27,318 --> 00:41:28,819 -Sleep with them. -Avoid them. 720 00:41:28,903 --> 00:41:30,279 -What is wrong with you? -Come on. 721 00:41:30,362 --> 00:41:32,531 As if you wouldn't climb Luther Mountain. 722 00:41:32,615 --> 00:41:36,285 Wait. How are we supposed to guarantee we don't cross paths with ourselves? 723 00:41:36,368 --> 00:41:38,496 Easy. We're the Benetton ad of superheroes, 724 00:41:38,579 --> 00:41:41,790 born all around the world until Dad brought us here, 725 00:41:41,874 --> 00:41:43,250 which he no longer did. 726 00:41:43,334 --> 00:41:45,794 Doppels probably aren't even in the same time zone as us. 727 00:41:45,878 --> 00:41:46,921 That's true. 728 00:41:47,004 --> 00:41:48,506 -Yeah. -Would you pass the moo shu? 729 00:41:49,673 --> 00:41:50,549 [Klaus] I don't know. 730 00:41:50,633 --> 00:41:54,720 Doesn't it seem kind of rude that Dad unadopting us didn't change anything? 731 00:41:54,803 --> 00:41:56,013 -I'm offended. -Hold up. 732 00:41:56,096 --> 00:41:58,265 -[Five] I never said that, Klaus. -I'll be right back. 733 00:41:58,349 --> 00:42:00,601 [Klaus] How are we gonna know where it changed? 734 00:42:05,773 --> 00:42:09,151 [ominous string music playing] 735 00:42:13,739 --> 00:42:15,741 [ominous music swells] 736 00:42:15,824 --> 00:42:16,784 Hello, lover. 737 00:42:18,285 --> 00:42:19,703 Holy shit. 738 00:42:21,580 --> 00:42:22,873 You really came back. 739 00:42:22,957 --> 00:42:24,166 You miss me already? 740 00:42:24,875 --> 00:42:26,001 That's too bad. 741 00:42:26,544 --> 00:42:29,672 I'm not here to stick around. I'm just doing a quick little drop-off. 742 00:42:30,172 --> 00:42:31,006 Of what? 743 00:42:32,132 --> 00:42:33,175 Our son. 744 00:42:33,259 --> 00:42:35,010 [Lila] Diego, meet Stan. 745 00:42:36,387 --> 00:42:37,846 Say hello, Stanley! 746 00:42:37,930 --> 00:42:39,056 Hello, Stanley. 747 00:42:39,139 --> 00:42:40,224 Wait. What? 748 00:42:40,766 --> 00:42:43,561 Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, this is-- 749 00:42:43,644 --> 00:42:44,728 [Lila murmurs] 750 00:42:47,064 --> 00:42:50,276 Hey, this is a… It's a joke, right? 751 00:42:50,359 --> 00:42:52,486 That your boys can swim fast? Yeah. [chuckles] 752 00:42:52,570 --> 00:42:53,862 Joke's on me there. 753 00:42:53,946 --> 00:42:55,864 I've had Stan for 12 years. 754 00:42:57,199 --> 00:42:59,368 -[bell dings] -It's time for you to do your part. 755 00:42:59,451 --> 00:43:00,703 Have fun bonding. 756 00:43:01,328 --> 00:43:02,413 Be good for Mommy. 757 00:43:07,585 --> 00:43:08,711 [Stan] So… 758 00:43:10,170 --> 00:43:11,255 Do you got any food? 759 00:43:13,882 --> 00:43:15,884 [energy thrumming] 760 00:43:18,429 --> 00:43:19,305 Grace. 761 00:43:20,806 --> 00:43:22,433 Have you seen a briefcase? 762 00:43:23,434 --> 00:43:25,269 [Grace hums] 763 00:43:25,352 --> 00:43:26,478 [Marcus] What are you doing? 764 00:43:28,981 --> 00:43:30,024 Worshiping. 765 00:43:31,317 --> 00:43:32,818 [Grace continues humming] 766 00:43:38,407 --> 00:43:41,660 [energy pulsing] 767 00:43:43,829 --> 00:43:44,663 Holy shit. 768 00:43:47,625 --> 00:43:48,584 Yes. 769 00:43:49,376 --> 00:43:50,419 It is holy. 770 00:43:55,132 --> 00:43:56,550 Isn't it beautiful? 771 00:43:58,135 --> 00:44:00,763 Grace, what is this thing? 772 00:44:01,722 --> 00:44:02,681 A miracle. 773 00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:06,935 I can't make out what it's saying. Can you? 774 00:44:08,896 --> 00:44:11,940 [pulsing continues] 775 00:44:13,108 --> 00:44:14,401 It's just noise. 776 00:44:14,485 --> 00:44:15,903 No, Marcus. 777 00:44:15,986 --> 00:44:18,030 It's a message from God. 778 00:44:18,530 --> 00:44:19,406 Listen. 779 00:44:22,743 --> 00:44:23,744 [gasps] 780 00:44:26,497 --> 00:44:27,623 I hear it. 781 00:44:27,706 --> 00:44:29,249 [shockwave pulsing] 782 00:44:35,255 --> 00:44:37,007 You mind your manners. 783 00:44:37,091 --> 00:44:40,469 [intense orchestral music playing] 784 00:44:50,229 --> 00:44:51,146 [whimpers] 785 00:44:55,526 --> 00:44:59,113 [screaming] 786 00:45:05,285 --> 00:45:08,122 [Five] The point is, we did it. We saved the world. 787 00:45:08,205 --> 00:45:09,623 We stopped the apocalypse. 788 00:45:10,207 --> 00:45:12,292 And made it home safe in time for dinner. 789 00:45:12,376 --> 00:45:14,294 So whatever Dad changed, 790 00:45:14,378 --> 00:45:16,922 whatever timeline we're in now… 791 00:45:17,005 --> 00:45:18,006 [whistling] 792 00:45:18,090 --> 00:45:19,216 …we can handle it. 793 00:45:20,342 --> 00:45:21,343 We won. 794 00:45:24,722 --> 00:45:25,597 We won. 795 00:45:26,098 --> 00:45:27,141 [Klaus] Yeah. 796 00:45:27,224 --> 00:45:28,308 -All right. -All right. 797 00:45:28,392 --> 00:45:31,311 [intense orchestral music swelling] 798 00:45:38,777 --> 00:45:42,698 [rock violin music playing]